*sigh*

So much can happen in a short amount of time...

1) After going out to supper with my parents last night (delightful), I went out with Lisa for a walk around Centennial Park. It was dark, but it was fun. We have a bit of a habit of travelling long distances, only to get lost in the wilderness, with little resources (ie: gas, or, in this case, light). We usually end up about 5 feet from an exit, but we usually don't know that until we backtrack all the way back out again. Case it point, of course, was last night. Most of the trails at the park are lit, but there are several dark patches. So, after walking for about an hour, in semi darkness, we came to a fork in the road. On the left.. pitch black.. on the right... pitch black. We had figured that we were near the end, since we had walked so far, but without light, we didn't want to venture much further. We chose a 'path' and walked a few feet, but we turned back. The only thing we could do was turn around and go back the way we came. So, two hours after we started, we were warm and comfy, safe and sound. This, all to say that; be careful walking through Centennial Park, at night.

2) So, that story had nothing to do with the title, but it was an interesting little adventure, and somewhat ties in to this story.

SO.

Most of you know I have an aunt, Mary. She lived with us, on and off, for most of my life. She's sort of like a second mother to me, but also a friend. We have always been very close.

About a year and a half ago, she met a man. Soon after, she moved out of our house, and into his. Most of us (including herself), thought it was a little soon, but she's a big girl.

So, time passes... She settles into the happy homemaker role. Only, she's not very happy. She'd come over and complain about him, about different aspects of their relationship, and then make a quick departure because she had to go home and cook for him (#&&@!&^!!).

This has been a common occurence, especially the past few months. My mother does the same thing about my father. She'll act like an embittered housewife, but then jump at the chance to cook and clean for her man. I hate this behaviour, but I somehow feel like my mother does have a bit of a right, since she's actually been married for almost 30 years. After that long, patterns develop, and I would imagine it would be hard to break them. With Mary, though, they've only been living together for a year! In that time, they be, like, doing it ALL THE TIME, and going on vacations, and going out with each other. But from what I gathered from her, that isn't the case.

Anyway, I've been pretty disgusted about the way she's been acting. As a result, we've been drifing apart the last little while. It very upsetting to me, but I just can't try anymore. I try to be very supportive of her and her choices, but it's very hard to do that when they are always changing.

So, last night, after our extended walk, I get home at about 12:30. Actually, the interesting thing was that I had just finished talking to Lisa about this whole situation, so I was surprised to see their van parked in our driveway when I got home. Anyway, I get in, and walk up the stairs to the kitchen, where they were. Mary jumps up, spills wine everywhere and nearly knocks me over (note: she's about 99.4 pounds). She's completely drunk. Not normal adult drunk where she's a little giddy. The woman can't see straight. Her eyes are looking in two separate directions. She's slurring her words, and keeps hugging me and telling me how much she loves me. Ugh. I was very much taken aback, and actually pretty uncomfortable. From over Mary's shoulder, I see my mother holding up her hand, and pointing to it. I step back from Mary, and pull her arm out too see a big honking, beautfiul diamond ring on her left ring finger.

Dread.

How am I supposed to feel at this moment? How am I supposed to act? Am I supposed to smile and say congratulations? Nothing I seemed to say sound sincere, so I just smiled, and let Mary hug me more. They had been waiting for me most of the night, which is part of the reason they were so drunk. My sister had the good fortune of hearing the news over the phone.

So, after enduring this emotional and physical torture (okay, that's exaggerating, but I was so uncomfortable I could barely stand it. Also, Mary was wrapped around me so tight she was actually choking me at one point). I finally made my exit to my room. At this point, I was pretty upset, but I wasn't sure why. Was I jealous? I've been in situations like this before where I've had close friends essensentially ditch me for long periods of time to be with their others. But, I don't think this is it.

Mary came down to my room (miraculously, without falling down the stairs), to tell me AGAIN how much she loved me and my sister, that she would do anything for us, that we're like daughters to her, etc, etc. Then she asks "Do you think I'm doing the right thing?" (note: this isn't really what she said verbatim.. that'd probably look more like "d'yoooou sink eem doooin' the fright sing?"). So, what do I say to that? So, I ask her.. "What do you think?" She responds to the question by mumbling something that I can only interpret as "yes, I think so". Ultimately, that will be good enough for me, but for right now, I'm not entirely convinced. I think that brought up more questions, because she doesn't seem confident herself that she's doing the right thing.

So me, it comes down to this. Mary has always been single. She's never really dated that much in the time I knew her. Her now fiancé had a wife and family for quite a long time, and has been single for a few years. From knowing him, and from knowing her, I just wonder if he wants Mary, or does he want a wife? What other reason would one have for getting married? They're both 50-ish, so why bother?

None of this sits well with me, and I can't say I'm happy for them. Granted, time will tell, and I hope I eventually end up eating my words.